You guys aren’t here yet,  but as I contemplate actively trying to bring you into being, I realized that I have some things to say to you, some promises to make before you even come into this world.  Every day I see or hear of parents making catastrophic mistakes that will harm their children for the rest of their lives, and that is my greatest fear.  So with that in mind, I have made a list of the things that I am determined not to mess up for you.

I promise…

  • …to change your diapers, take you to the park, take you to practices, help with your homework and make your breakfasts, lunches and dinners myself (except for when your father is available)
  • …to kiss and hug you so that you know you are loved, even in front of your friends
  • …to be your advocate in all things, until you don’t need me anymore, and to teach you to value yourself so that you can find the strength and voice to advocate for yourself
  • …to grin, whoop, holler, applaud and whistle for every recital, drawing, craft project, play or game, every time
  • …to never dole out punishments when I’m angry
  • …to make an unconditional home and loving family for you, even if that turns out to be just the two of us in a tiny apartment, it will always be there for you
  • …to never make you feel like there is something you can’t talk to me about – unless it’s something just gross for the sake of being gross, like mixing cat vomit and mayonnaise
  • …to visit you at least once a year at college and  in every place you ever live (as long as you want me to)
  • …to take time for myself and be an individual throughout your lives, so you can learn the value of sustaining your own individuality and so you can have a whole, complete person for a mother
  • …to let you crawl into my bed when you’ve had a nightmare… and to kick you back out again so you can learn to face your fears
  • …to help you find who you are, without pressuring you to be who anyone else thinks you should be
  • …to feed you pizza on Fridays, ice cream on Saturdays, and healthy food food the rest of the time
  • …to always value your ideas and opinions, and to respect your will, even when I must override it

There is so much more to say, and so much that goes without saying, but these things I can and will do for you, my future little monsters darling children.

Update: A friend of mine (who I know personally IRL) just posted a bunch of stuff on facebook… apparently his daughter is stuck in a less than ideal relationship with a manipulative man whom she married and had asked her dad to keep some of her stuff in his safety deposit box.  But now it seems she called the police when she wanted her stuff back… the problem with this situation is that he has now posted all over facebook (FACEBOOK!) that he’s done with his daughter, that she’s dug herself a hole with him that she can’t get out of.  I’m shocked to hear this coming from this particular person, and even more upset that he doesn’t see that now is when his daughter needs him the most.  Everyone needs one person in this world who will never write them off, (especially if they get stuck in a relationship with a manipulative person – that can skew your entire view of reality) and that falls squarely into a parent’s job description.  To my babies: if you call the cops on me, it’s ok.  I’ll be pissed, but more than anything I’ll still love you, and I’ll still want you to come to me the moment you realize how bad you screwed up, and we will work it out.  Always.

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